Run time: 101 mins

To reflect, how things have changed, this is one for the Valentine girls who can do without men. Or happy couples who just like a jig.

‘Snake on a dancefloor’- the late Patrick Swayze, shmoozes through this contrived piece of 1980s teen pulp in tight, nobody-over-nineteen-should-wear-jeans, where Baby learns all she needs at the hands, feet and forthright groin of his weekend-thrust! (weird). Nothing written here will stop chicks of all ages having ‘the time of their life’ in frocks of all shapes, swooning and wetting the furniture – divine!

“In many ways, a routine teen-flick with its ‘60s setting, loud pop, sex, and interfering parents…”

Mercifully short, the ‘story’ so far… College-bound ‘Baby’ on holiday with her parents, meets the resort’s resident ‘lap’ dancer and ends up taking his injured dance partner’s place in the final show. This means being coached-up to standard in just a few days. Cut to “movingly coy” scenes as the two glue into the sheets.

“A safe combination of laughs, tears and an improbable happy ending… a burning rock’n’roll score and sleazy choreography carry the day.” (Time Out) Not forgetting a melon or two.

Beware: (Contains juvenile sex references and – no distancing – close thrusting) Shocking, irresponsible behaviour, and watermelons too.