Run time: 123 mins

Red One – or, A Fast & Furious Christmas, as it should be called – is an extravagant, festive blockbuster with big muscles and mythological intrigue. It’s also completely mental.

About as far removed from It’s a Wonderful Life as you can get, Dwayne Johnson is Santa’s bodyguard, who must save Christmas with his brute strength, in what amounts to something of a military campaign.

The film imagines Santa (JK Simmons), codenamed Red One, as a quasi-elite operative with his own security detail, headed by stony-faced tough guy Callum Drift (Johnson). When Santa is kidnapped, Callum is forced to partner with “level 4 naughty lister” Jack (Chris Evans), a hacker and general miscreant who sells his dubious skills to the highest bidder – in this case, a shady individual who has nefarious plans that threaten the very future of Christmas.

Red One is a fist-pumping, steroid-induced, (anti?) Christmas film that makes for the perfect stop-gap for those itching for the next Marvel outing. It’s loud, dumb, full of bad CGI, and lacking in genuine festive spirit. But you have to admire its gonzo attitude. Strap in and give it a go