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Rex Berkhamsted

2 months ago

𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸...

This indulgent observation was to be the second half of whatever that first half was meant to be, a few weeks ago.
But things have moved on rapidly since, albeit in nightmarishly slo-motion.

Opening dates for shops, cafes, pubs, restaurants have been cheerfully declared - each conditional upon ‘our best behaviour’ of course.

A best behaviour that was tested just days ago at a peaceful vigil on Clapham Common, where women gathered to remember the last footsteps of the latest woman innocently going on her way as usual, thinking nothing of her familiar route. Sarah Everard had been walking home early-mid evening some weeks ago, but didn’t get very far. The remains of her body were found half buried in woodland in Kent. A policeman has been arrested and charged. The list of ironies only just beginning.

The vigil was to trace Sarah's footsteps on the night she walked her last. Thousands turned up in the face of strong official advice, no doubt in case they breathed too heavily, or at all. An instruction which has grown steadily wearing on us all but here at Clapham Common, it was not disobeyed lightly.

It began largely silent, a cellphone candlelit vigil shuffling towards the bandstand. However, in the interest of Civil-Obedience, the police force, in all its anti-social yellow-viz, started to break things up as the singing began. They had been sent to disperse a gathering and enforce the social distancing of ‘law & order’. This was all in the name of upholding a temporary ‘law’ plucked out of advisors guessing hats to "stay safe”. So the coppers set about their task with all the calm diplomacy of Jaws at a tea time swimming class. Clearly they were not on their 'best behaviour’ here.
Then again, burly in numbers, perhaps this was their best behaviour…

The ironies are multi-fold. Not even the most glaring being the brutal overreaction they panic busted to keep those peaceful women - Safe.

Stay Safe? - my sweet booty. With nothing open and nobody else out walking at night, nobody is safe - we are just going steadily insane. Not that ugly latest shelter-of-the-moralising-scoundrel and suddenly being peddled at every interview: "mental-health-issues”. No ‘issues’ here, just plain ordinary - Insane. Many have had enough of no longer being alive before we get the chance to die. Now stir crazy, we are crawling up the cell walls.

This horror story catalogue aside, cinemas will be allowed to re-open from roughly 17th May…!!? Wow… Yippee…Hooray……. Yeah Yeah? - so what.

Always beautiful and longed for: May is a whole slow-crawling other-world away. Where its darling buds might heal the memory of this long silent miserable winter of locked away discontent.

To cheer things a little, we have decided to hold off 𝗥𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗫 until after the so called free-for-all date of 21st June - when all masks are off and we are free to kiss our Aunt Bettys again. When the doors can be flung open without rules or restriction…?? Yeah Yeah? - we’ll see.

Of the current new releases worth showing, there are a few worth waiting for (but wont blame you if you don't).
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘯, 𝘑𝘶𝘥𝘢𝘴 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘔𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘢𝘩, alongside 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘯 and 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 - each with fabulous casts and coincidentally up for awards. We wont bother with Mank, which my guess that it would be garlanded with nominations, persuaded us it was worth a preview last December for our 16th anniversary before we were promptly closed down - once more. It is a whining yarn from old Hollywood, so once was enough. Although it turned out to be a timely misery to see us off then, into this deep dim winter - where Christmas was truly, madly, cancelled. Alan Rickman’s demented Sheriff of Nottingham would have been justly proud.

Already, we will attempt to book a couple of cinematic gems made for, and screened by, Netflix: 𝘕𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘖𝘧 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 & 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘨 to start, plus a raft of others perhaps already seen, alongside fabulous Oldies from across many diverse languages hidden deep in our 17 year catalogue.

You will be teased with a full list later on - after all - there is plenty of time.
Time to be out in the warming evening light, not stuck so soon inside again, staring at yet another, albeit fabulous, big cinema screen.

So for now, in this meantime I wish you well, in particular those new delinquent pensioners who are now skipping along High Streets all jabbed up and out there.

Stay up girls and boys & etceteras. Be alert but never be scared to walk anywhere, nor afraid to hit unwelcome evil, too hard - with everything you’ve got. JH ... See MoreSee Less

Rex Berkhamsted

3 months ago

Regardless of Gov’t announcements on Monday, I anticipate the Rex will not be allowed to open before May, when many/most 2nd (vulnerable age) jabs will have been done, and the whole population should have had their first. Closed-in buildings such as theatres and cinemas will be last on the list. Which is a shame, as there appears to be no evidence that they were responsible for any outbreaks.
Neither has there been any report of this dreaded Pox, sickness or death concerning Rex audiences in the brief opening gaps we almost enjoyed last year.

Ahead of the next round of dos & donts on Monday here's a thoroughly miserable list of personal lockdown loathings.

First thing to keep in mind is that this bastard Pox will not go away - even when it has gone away. We will be hostage to gov’t experts, advisors, medics and daily statistics for months (years!!?) to come.

Then there’s masks, and social distancing. And the fear of strangers that goes with it. Everyone is scared. It is not a good condition for living.

The shops. Why aren’t they open. Supermarkets are worse than any shoe shop. People lean across each other to reach that single apple. As I recall nobody goes near anyone else in a shop.
There has always been a natural space between us in the average High St shop. We have always created our own space. Our natural human instinct keeps us apart. We all know immediately when it feels invaded.
This preposterous exaggerated wide berth business when passing in the street has infected our already fragile trust in strangers, worse than the pox’d virus itself. As for WH Smiths. What in the name of "Jesus el Pifco” (JL) is that doing open, while ordinary shops, even Petals the flower shop, remain closed…? Perhaps Smiths has been deemed to be safe - because nobody goes in the place.

That hand sanitiser stuff gives everyone an air of righteousness and self protection as they rub their hands together like Pontius Pilate. I’ll bet in a few years time, they discover it is worse for your skin than raw diesel - and it eats babies. Besides, I have a nasty feeling people use it as a substitute for washing their hands. I wash my hands before and after I’ve washed my hands! Not a BLT obsession, just a cheap thrill. Howard Hughes - go chew your fingernails.

As for 'mental health’ the latest buzz words used by people who know nothing, and can’t wait to be heard saying it. Of course we’re mad already. We can’t wait to be in an overcrowded airport and get on to sardine tubes and fly all over the Earth just to eat chips and flob like greased whales around contaminated pools - only to fly back with a virus or two under our sombreros.
As for any excuse for someone’s sane idea - the Ocean-Going tower block cities carrying thousands in a confined space, just so they can pollute the rest of the world (long before this Pox).
Happy holidays campers.

To relieve some of your madness, try to remember "Hell is other people” (J-PS). So give ‘em a wide berth. Oh, you’re already doing that. Of course we’re all nuts - try this:
Donald Trump's 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 votes numbered over 74 million…!!?

It’s okay, simply rub some sanitiser (apt name) on to any sane, logical thought before your mind finally crumbles - that oughta do it. JH

(Part two to follow) ... See MoreSee Less