Run time: 135 mins

This silly tale is requested every year. So here it is; one more needle on the Christmas tree. Don’t call the Samaritans yet. If this film doesn’t tip you over the edge, you’ll be safe for another year. Richard Curtis has talked his old pals, plus a few new faces, into this award winning farce. Hugh (Boris) Grant would never be a Prime Minister!? in Harold Wilson’s day. Here, Hugh is in love with No10’s tea lady, while Harold allegedly preferred the designer of his mac. I’m with Harold. Any eastender can make tea, but a woman who knows her Ganex from her Burberry gets my button! With a cast of near Spartacus proportions, this flimsy tale boasts intrigue, ‘embroiled in various overlapping tales of love and woe’. With the emphasis on Lurve, not the Actually, and with a hint of woe to inject hope. But no hope it remains, a sloppy nonsense without a trace of smut, just in time for Christmas. Escape the family or make them suffer; bring them with you. Highlight: alongside Colin, is Rickman’s Achilles: Heike Makatsch as Mia the stunning, irresistible flirting distraction from the weighty Stars and even thicker-than-porridge ‘plotlines’. No need for ‘Come’. You’re already here.

Saturday 19th December
07:00 pm
Friday 4th December
14:00
Tuesday 15th December
19:30
Friday 4th December
19:30
SINGLE SEATS
Sunday 6th December
18:00
SINGLE SEATS
Saturday 5th December
19:00
SOLD OUT
Monday 7th December
14:00
Monday 7th December
19:30
Tuesday 8th December
14:00
Wednesday 9th December
19:30
Thursday 10th December
14:00
Thursday 10th December
19:30
Friday 11th December
19:30
Saturday 12th December
14:00
SOLD OUT
Saturday 12th December
19:00
Monday 14th December
14:00
Sunday 13th December
18:00
Tuesday 15th December
14:00
Wednesday 16th December
14:00
Wednesday 16th December
19:30
Thursday 17th December
14:00
Thursday 17th December
19:30
Friday 18th December
14:00
SOLD OUT
Friday 18th December
19:30
Monday 21st December
14:00
Saturday 19th December
14:00
SOLD OUT
Saturday 19th December
19:00
SOLD OUT
Sunday 20th December
18:00
SINGLE SEATS
Wednesday 23rd December
14:00
LAST FEW SEATS
Wednesday 23rd December
19:30
LAST FEW SEATS
Thursday 24th December
17:00
LAST FEW SEATS
Monday 21st December
19:30
LAST FEW SEATS
Tuesday 22nd December
14:00
SINGLE SEATS
Tuesday 22nd December
19:30
SINGLE SEATS
Wednesday 30th December
14:00
SOLD OUT
Thursday 31st December
18:00